


Come Back

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Child Abuse, Comforting Castiel, Crying Dean, Dean has an accident, Domestic, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2721842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After working too long, Dean gets up to use the bathroom but doesn't make it in time. Remembering scarring moments from his childhood, he goes into a panic. After a time, Cas finds him on the floor and does everything he can to calm him down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back

**Author's Note:**

> For those who've read my stuff, this is a little different that usual. This is normally something I'd put on my non-omo account, but I decided to put it up here. It's a little dark, and I believe it should go without saying, but TW for Abuse and Panic Attacks.

 Dean was a workaholic and that was no secret. When he wasn’t at work, he was at home doing work. It wasn’t necessarily that he enjoyed it. It was about filling his mind so that it was all he could think of. At least once a day, Cas would come in and force him to take a break. Sometimes he’d pull Dean away and just lay down in bed and talk with him until he was asleep. Other times, Dean would refuse to budge so Cas would just straddle his lap on the chair and Dean would protest, but finally give in and let Cas hold him, run his hands through Dean’s hair, head pressed against his chest. And finally, he’d coax Dean into coming to bed and sleeping. In short, Cas was good to him. 

 

Dean had had lots of boyfriends and girlfriends who were good to him. But not like Cas. Never like Cas. Everyone else would get fed up with his anxiety and his panic attacks, but Cas never did. Cas had this stern yet caring way of calming him down and it always worked. 

 

So the day a certain compulsive disaster happened, he couldn’t have been more glad that Cas was the one he fell in love with.

 

“Just finish this letter.” Dean muttered, his leg bouncing up and down rapidly as he typed away at the laptop. “Finish this letter and you can take a pee break.” 

 

He hissed as his bladder begged to be emptied and lightly placed his hand on his stomach. 

 

“Work. Letter.” He stated, taking a deep breath and bringing his hand up to continue typing. 

 

He bit his lip as the discomfort in his stomach continued. 

 

_And the incident caused a large amount of damage not just to the vehicle, but also many injuries to one of our employees. Our sho[ woulsd liek to_

 

“Fuck.” Dean hissed as he felt himself leak a little into his jeans. “Fuck this stupid letter.” 

 

Immediately he pulled himself to a stand so that he could hurry to the bathroom but as soon as he’d gone up straight, he felt himself lose control, piss soaking down his jeans. Immediately he began heading to the bathroom, but by the time he was halfway there, he was done. He looked down and he was standing in a large puddle, the tan carpeting beneath him a dark brown now, and a trail of large drops back from the chair. His jeans were still dripping and he let out of a high pitched whimper before dropping to his knees in shock.

 

_In an instant he was no longer in the same reality. He was 6 years old in first grade again. His father was at the bar and told him to wait in the car with Sam. It was getting cold and his father wasn’t coming back and normally Dean was used to that, but this time he had to use the bathroom. And his tiny little kid bladder couldn’t hold it much longer. He walked into the bar and immediately ran up to his father, tugging on his jacket._

 

_“Daddy I need to pee!” He whined._

 

_John ignored him and continued drinking, laughing at something his friend said._

 

_“Daddy!” Dean whimpered, pulling at John’s clothing more._

 

_John swatted Dean away by a stern slap to the face and turned back to his friend._

 

_“Daddy…” Dean choked, pushing John’s arm._

 

_“What, Dean?!” John growled, turning to face him._

 

_Dean stepped back to reveal the dark stain on his pants._

 

_John scowled and turned back to his partner. “I have to leave. My stupid fucking kid can’t even sit for 30 minutes without pissing himself.”_

 

_“You were here for 3 hours.” Dean mumbled._

 

_“Shut the fuck up!” John slapped him again and slid five dollars across the counter. “Keep the change.” He winked at the bartender and she smiled uneasily back._

 

_“Let’s get you home, you son of a bitch.” John snarled, grabbing Dean’s arm and dragging him out the door and back to the car. He opened the car door and practically threw him inside. “I don’t want to hear a word from either of you. Got it?”_

 

_Dean nodded silently as the tires of the car screeched and they pulled out of the parking lot._

 

_Once they were home Dean was sat down on the sofa and beaten and whipped with a belt until John was satisfied._

 

Cas immediately perked up from his book and the sound of a soft whining. He furrowed his brow as the sound continued.

 

“Dean. That you?” He called, sliding his bookmark in between the pages and standing up. “Dean?” 

 

He followed the noise down to Dean’s office and immediately ran in and dropped to the ground at the sigh of Dean sit there hyperventilating and crying. 

 

“Dean.” He said softly, sitting in front of him. “Dean, what’s the matter?” 

 

Dean remained silent, looking into the distance in horror. 

 

“Dean, tell me what’s going on.” Cas said. “What’s wrong?” 

 

Dean didn’t move outside of the trembling he was already doing. 

 

“Dean honey.” Cas whispered, reaching out to touch him. 

 

Dean immediately jumped back away from him and quickly moved backwards towards the wall. 

 

“Dean.” Cas sighed, crawling back over in front of Dean. “It’s me. Castiel.” 

 

Tears kept falling down Dean’s cheeks and he stayed pressed against the wall. 

 

“Dean listen to me.” Cas stated. “I’m gonna touch your hand alright?” 

 

Dean seemingly didn’t hear him. 

 

Cas very slowly reached out and took hold of Dean’s hand. Gently, he rubbed the top of Dean’s hand wrist with his own. 

 

“Good.” Cas hummed, moving closer to Dean and beginning to slide his hand up Dean’s arm. 

 

”I’m gonna kiss you now." He continued, leaning in cautiously. 

 

Dean’s breathing was beginning to slow down. Barely, but it was calming. 

 

Cas brought his lips up to Dean’s neck and lightly kissed the area under his jaw. “I love you, Dean. Whatever you’re seeing right now, it’s not real. I’m real. Now is real. You’re safe and no one’s gonna get to you. I’m right here.” 

 

After a moment, Dean latched onto Cas, arms wrapping around him and falling against him. His face buried into Cas’s neck as he sobbed and Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s back and held him against him. 

 

Cas soothed him, gently rocking Dean in his arms. “I’ve got you.” 

 

Cas sat there and held Dean, cradling him until he’d calmed down. “Are you gonna tell me what brought this on?” 

 

“Well I thought you would’ve noticed by now.” Dean muttered. 

 

“Noticed what? I’ve kinda been concerned about you at the moment.” Cas scoffed. 

 

Dean pulled away and look down at himself in shame. Cas slowly scanned over Dean until he saw the wet tracks down the inside of his thighs and he sighed, looking back up at him. 

 

“Fucking shit.” He muttered.

 

“I’m sorry.” Dean choked up again. 

 

“Hey, hey, no.” Cas shook his head. “I’m not mad at you. Just I’d say this was quite the overreaction to something so petty.” 

 

“My dad didn’t think it was that petty.” Dean sniffled.

 

Cas frowned before pulling Dean back in and kissing his temple. “You worry too much.”

 

“Cas, I have work to do.” Dean muttered. 

 

“No way.” Cas shook his head before placing his chin in Dean’s hair. “Not happening. You need a break.” 

 

Dean groaned loudly and Cas just chuckled. 

 

“I think you should turn in for the night.” Cas whispered, pulling Dean away by his shoulders and smiling despite the fact that Dean looked miserable. 

 

“Fine.” Dean grumbled. 

 

“Up you go.” Cas mused, standing up and then reaching out for Dean before pulling him to his feet. 

 

Dean shut his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

 

“C’mon.” Cas grabbed his hand and walked Dean over to the bed, pulling him down onto it. 

 

Silently, Cas undid his shirt and then reached over and lifted Dean’s over his head. He pulled Dean closer to him and then began undoing his jeans. Giving no heed to the fact that the pants were damp with urine, he stripped them off Dean and tossed them to the side. 

 

Cas gently kissed Dean before whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ and then tucking Dean into his chest. Dean’s hand found it’s way to Cas’s and locked their fingers together. 

 

Cas awkwardly stretched out so he could reach the lamp and turn it off. After a few minutes lying in the dark, Dean began to speak.

 

“Cas?”

 

“Yes, Dean?” Cas answered. 

 

“I love you too.” He said.

 

“I know you do.” Cas breathed, rubbing his arm up and down Dean’s back.

 

“I wish we could be closer.” Dean stated.

 

“I think at this point if we squeezed any closer we’d be one single being.” Cas laughed, kissing Dean’s forehead.

 

“I mean in our relationship…” Dean muttered.

 

“Our relationship?” Cas scoffed. “You mean like more serious?”

 

“Yeah. More serious.” Dean sighed.

 

“Would you like me to tattoo your name on my _other_ asscheek?” Cas asked. “But seriously, Dean. We’re life partners. I don’t know if it gets more serious than that.”

 

“Well I heart from Charlie who heard from Dorothy who heard from Ruth who heard from Annie that we’re gonna be the next state to legalize gay marriage.” Dean explained.

 

“Well the second that you and I can do so, we will. I promise.” Cas smiled, rolling Dean over and kissing the back of his neck. “Now shut up and get some sleep.”

 

“Okay.” Dean sighed contently as Cas pulled him in close and hugged him from behind. 

 

And it was there in his lover’s arms, that yet another burden was resolved. And as long as Cas stayed right by him, he’d be okay.


End file.
